Christmas 2017

Mili pratele a rodino, 

protoze je tu uz prosinec, ohledli jsme se za uplynulym rokem, od ktereho jsme si hodne slibovali. Vydrzi mi remise dalsi rok? Kdy se prestehujeme do naseho domku? Jak to dopadne se zalozenim noveho sboru? Vsechno to byly velke,  zasadni veci, za ktere jsme se modlili a dekujeme, ze jste to nesli na modlitbach spolu s nami.

Dear friends and family,

as December started, we looked back on an amazing year, one that we had high hopes for on so many levels. Will my health last another year? When will we move into our house? How about starting a new church? Big things that we prayed for, and you were joining us.

Kdyz to vezmu po zpatku, ta nejnovejsi zprava se tyka meho zdravi. Vse je v poradku, remise pokracuje a slavim 48 mesicu v remisi!!  Posledni chemoterapie skoncila pred 18 mesici, pred 4 roky na vanoce mi doktorka oznamila, ze jsem znovu v remisi bez pritomnosti leukemie v tele, a posledni den v listopadu to bylo 6 let od zacatku cele teto kapitoly. Za tech sest let se udala spousta zmen, ktere by se bez me nemoci nestaly, ale asi tou nejcasteji pripominanou a  nezapomenutelnou skutecnosti, jste byli vy vsichni, kdo jste se kolem nas semkli a postarali jste se o to, ze jsme se nikdy necitili, ze to musime zvladnout sami!!! Za to jsme Vam moc vdecni!!!!

Going backward from the most recent news, last week I had another check-up, and my health is good. That simply means that I am celebrating 48 months of remission!!!!!! So I have been without any chemotherapy for 18 months, four years no-show of leukemia and six years since it all started. Looking at the six years, we are amazed of all the changes that have happened in our family life because of my sickness. We will never forget how many people embraced us and walked so closely with us- that we never felt alone. Very thankful for each of you! 

Minulou nedeli byla prvni adventni nedele a nase rodina mela za ukol zapalit svicku behem bohosluzby a rict par slov na tema “nadeje”. Podle jedne z mnoha vanocnich tradic, prvni adventni svicka reprezentuje nadeji. Jane cetla biblicky text v anglictine, Sofia v cestine, Mia zapalila svicku a na me zbylo neco rict. 

“Nadeje. V mladi jsem zil nadeji, ze zmenim svet. Ted po dvaceti letech je moje nadeje, ze Buh zmeni me. Predtim jsem se spolehal na svoji silu a co dokazu ja. Ted se spoleham na Boha a na to, co chce On. Spolu s Janem Krtitelem vyznavam o Jezisove miste v mem zivote: “On musi rust, ja se mensit.” (Jan 3:30). To je moje nadeje. “

Last Sunday, we lit the first advent candle in our church. We were asked to speak about hope. Hope means different things for different people. These were my words:

“Hope. When I was younger, my hope was to change the world. Twenty years later my hope is that God will change me. Before it was about my strength and what I could do. Now it's about who God is and what He wants to do. Together with John the Baptist, I say this about Jesus’ role in my life: He must increase, I must decrease. (John 3:30). That is my hope.”

Zivot neni jednoduchy, ale zije se daleko snaz, kdyz mate nekoho jako je Richard Davis za sveho mentora a muzete s nim probirat zivot a okolnosti tak jak prichazi.  Kdyz jsem se mu zminil o mem adventnim svedectvi o nadeji, obratem to vyuzil pro dalsi lekci a protoze me zna, pouzil ilustraci s dvojkolem (tandem). To je celkem paradox, protoze tandem byla “moje” ilustrace co jsem pouzival na klubech Young Lifu pro studenty. Richard rekl: V mladi mas dost sily a velke ego. Pozves Jezise do sveho zivota, ale posadis ho dozadu. Chces jeho silu, aby slapal a rychlejc te dostal kam ty ridis. (Nakonec ceske nazvy pozic na dvojkole - “Kapitan” a “Topic” jsou asi dostatecne jasne.) Ted si ale menite mista, ty budes vzadu a Jezis vpredu. “ A pridal i slova jeho kamarada: “Kdyz je Jezis kapitanem, dostanes se na mista, o kterych ani nevis ze existuji.. “ A neni sam, kdo to zazil. S odhodlanim a velkym ocekavanim se vzdavam riditek, at me vezme na vylet kam On uzna za vhodne. 

One of the biggest blessings of my life is to have Richard Davis as my mentor. Last time we talked, I mention to him my words about hope. He, knowing me, used a tandem bike illustration to take me even deeper on the theme of hope. (Do you know that  tandem bike is not only our hobby, but also it was my thing to use for illustrations for kids during the Young Life club talks?). This is what he said: “When we are young, we have strength and ego. We invite Jesus into our lives. But we give him the back seat - we want his power to go faster to places as we steer the bike. (That makes us captains and Jesus a stoker. or some say rear admiral.) Now, you are switching places, you will sit in the back, and Jesus will take you places.”  As goes a testimony of one of Richard’s friends - when he let Jesus be the captain, Jesus took him places that he never imagined he would see. And so did many others, I am told.  Now I am ready to give Jesus the handlebar to steer where he wants us to go.

Nevim co je prede mnou. Verte mi, ze bych nejradsi smlouval s Bohem a mel jistotu, ze v leukemii jsem si odbyl to nejhorsi a je to za nami. Bohuzel takove vyjednavani neni mozne a nasledovani Jezise je bez jakychkoliv garanci pohodli, klidku a ruzove budoucnosti.

Pokazde kdyz me boli hlava, premyslim o nadoru na mozku. Cokoliv me boli na tele, premyslim ktery organ selhava a jake to bude mit dusledky. S kazdou drobnou zmenou znejistim a ptam se jestli to je zacatek konce.. Ale zaroven kazdy novy den je dar a chci se ptat Boha, jaky smysl ma to ze tu jsem, co je duvodem proc ja tu jsem a nekolik jinych uz ne? Vidim svoji situaci tak, ze jsem na zacatku nove kapitoly. Pokukuju po moznostech jak bych mohl zacit pravidelne prispivat do rodinneho rozpoctu, a postupne se vratit  do role zivitele rodiny a prevzit tuto roli od Jane, ktera ji zastavala po dobu me nemoci. Neumim ani slovy vyjadrit dostatecne svuj dik Jane za to, jak se o vse postarala behem me nemoci. Jako rodina jsme nejen prezili, ale szili se dohromady a pokracovali na ceste spolecnym zivotem. S kazdym rokem co jsme spolu si ji vazim o to vic a mam ji rad, ale jako spravny Cech komunikuju spis opak, takze pokracujici modlitby za nase manzelstvi jsou na miste :-)

I don’t know what is next. Trust me when I say that as much as I would like to bargain with God.  'Ok, leukemia happened, but now there should be nothing else that will affect our lives to such an extent as leukemia did.' I know that is not how following Jesus works.

With every headache, I think of brain tumors. With every pain inside my body, I think of organs that have given up for good. Every change on/in my body I look with a question - is this the beginning of the end? Yet, each day is a gift, and as long as I am alive and well enough, I want to ask God for His purpose. He left me here, while others are with Him. I am pursuing a new chapter of my life, hoping to start some regular activity that would bring more money into our family budget and Jane’s role as our provider would slowly take a turn, and it would once again be my role. I can’t express enough gratitude for God allowing me to have Jane as my wife. Because of her, we didn’t just survive during the sick time; we grew as a family together. With each year I love her more and more! (but as a true Czech man, I mostly communicate the opposite, so pls continue to pray for our marriage! :-))

Po dvou a pul letem usili, kdy jsem nejvice casu stravil na stavbe a vecmi s tim spojenych, jsme na zacatku listopadu prosli kolaudaci!! Byly to nervy, ale vyslo to na poprve. Uzivame si bydleni v novych prostorach, stale je co delat, a jak rikaji zkuseni stavitele - je to hotovy, jen to dokoncit.

Tak je to i u nas - jen to dokoncit!

In the last two and half years, my main role was to be present and supervise the renovation of our house. It is with great joy to report, that in November our reconstructed home passed the state inspection!! That was a big deal, and it's done!! We love living here. It is not completely finished, but we are told by many house owners - there is always something, you are never done with a house.. So all good on this end.

Potom co doktor potvrdil dobre vysledky odberu,  skoncila rekonstrukce uzavrena kolaudaci, zacalo rozhlizeni se po praci, tak zbyva jen jedine - podat zpravu o nove vzniklem sboru DoSlova. Zacali jsme v zari a uz po trech mesicu je seznam veci, za ktere jsme vdecni! Hned na zacatku nam nevyslo uzavreni smlouvy v prostorach kde jsme se schazeli. Buh se smiloval a ve velice kratke dobe se objevilo nahradni reseni, ktere je v nekterych ohledech zajimavejsi nez to puvodni, ktere jsme tak neradi opousteli. Schazime se v prostorach, kde je pres den a vecer bar, a kde vicemene vsechno (zidle, stoly..) drzi “na cestne slovo” - ale v nedeli je to nase utociste, slouzici k chvaleni Pana Boha. A protoze jsme maly sbor, nemame moc divaku.. Vetsina musi prilozit ruku k dilu, abychom si rozdelili zodpovednosti, a bohosluzba probehla cela od zacatku az do konce (99% bohosluzby je s prekladem na podiu). A moc se tesime z nedavneho narozeni dvou miminek maminkam z naseho sboru! Je to obrovska udalost v zivote nasich kamaradu, ale zaroven to zpusobilu vysoky procentni narust poctu lidi v nasem sboru behem prvnich trech mesicu.. (test zarlivosti pro ostatni skupiny zakladajici nove sbory ;-)

With my good health reports, house renovations finished and approved, job search, last but absolutely not least, is the report on the church plant of which we are grateful to be a part. We started in September, and now, three months later there is so much to be thankful for. Even though we got kicked out of one location, God provided a new one, that suits our group perfectly. Because of what it is - a run down bar right in the center of Prague - God is teaching us a lot regarding ownership of the responsibilities that each one of us has for us to come together and worship him. Most people who come on Sunday, have to participate more than just being spectators. It is a good thing. We are still ironing details to make the service run more efficiently and smoothly, especially as 99% of the service is in two languages and translation happens from the stage. We have two new babies being born to two couples, now parents from the launch team, so our church growth makes others jealous - just kidding!

Jsem moc vdecny za kazdeho z Vas, kdo jste se kolem nas semkli, modlite se za nas a stale ctete nas blog. Mam v planu pokracovat s blogem jeste minimalne pristi rok, kdy bych z Bozi milosti dosahl na 5. rok remise. Pak se rozhodneme co dal.

I am very thankful for each one of you, who have come and embraced our family in prayers and who continue to read the blog. I plan to continue to give our updates here for at least another year when by God’s grace I finish year 5 in remission. Then we will decide what will happen next.

Dekujeme Vam vsem za Vasi vytrvalou podporu, modlitby, dopisy, emaily. Je skvele Vas znat a jit zivotem spolu s Vami. Pri vyhledu na rok 2018 vubec nemam poneti co napsat. Nemame plany, ani nevime co si vlastne  prat. Predstavte si novy, cisty, nepopsany list papiru. Takova je nase predstava o 2018. Pokud byste nekdo mel nejakou potuchu nebo proroctvi pro nasi rodinu a co nas ceka, prosim sdilejte s nami.  Nepamatuju si, ze bych nekdy v zivote “nemel plan” nejen na novy rok, ale Ti co me znate jako organizatora, cloveka co vidi co by mohlo byt tak si umite predstavit, ze jsem v teto situaci trochu nervozni.. Cisty nepopsany papir. Modlime se. Pridate se k nam, prosim?

Thank you all for your faithful support, prayers, letters, emails. We are thankful for knowing you and having you in our lives. When we look at 2018, we have no plans and no idea of what that year will hold. Literally,  2018 is a white sheet of paper. Anyone wants to predict or prophecy, or give us heads up of what will happen? I think this is “a first” for me, a planner, a visionary, a dreamer. Not this time.

White blank paper. Praying. Will you continue to pray for us and with us?

Prejeme Vam krasnou vanocni oslavu dodrzeni Boziho slibu svym vernym, ktery se naplnil narozenim Jezise Krista. To jsou nase vanoce a moc si je uzivame, 

je to opravdovy Dar s velkym D!! 

May you have a very Merry Christmas, celebrating that God fulfilled His promise he made to His people and he gave us Jesus Christ! That’s Christmas for me, and what a GIFT!

V Kristu,

In His name,

Martin

45 months and counting.

45 months!

Dear friends, 

earlier this week, doctors confirmed that i continue to be in remission.  With gratefulness for undeserved gift of 45 months in remission I continue to heal, gain strength, and pray for what is next. As i mentioned in the previous posts, a change of our address and starting a new church plant were the two big projects for 2017. We have moved in February and have enjoyed being at the house for the spring and summer even though all the outside and the bottom floor is still a construction site. The renovation will come to an end soon, and we will take a break before we work on the front yard and back yard next spring. 

At the moment, more exciting than finishing the house is tomorrow’s official launch of the new church plant called DoSlova (IntoTheWord). September 10th at 10 am marks a new beginning of a bilingual church in Prague. Over the summer we practiced how to best accommodate two possible groups of people - Czechs, who speak English and English speaking expats for whom Prague is their home. We also realized, probably like any other church, we are struggling with balance for looking inward to make sure we all (including kids) are growing in our faith, but that it would not consume us to the point that we won’t have any energy left to be with those who are asking questions, are interested in opening the Bible to find out more about what God we believe and what do we experience in our following the rabbi Joshua and his teachings…

Looking at the last six months since my last post, i see how God is teaching me about two major things. One can be summed up in a short phrase, that spoke to me in a preaching - “There is enough time for God’s will. “ Time is a commodity that we are all short of. Even if our days had 48 hours we would try to squeeze in more than what we humanly can. We don’t walk, we drive so we can be at more places. We don’t prepare meals out of fresh ingredients because it takes time, which we want to spend somewhere else. God is the Master of time management and that little phrase is slowly changing my life. Since i am aware of it, and talk about it with others, i see how leaving things up to God’s time management is worth the risk.

Busyness is loosing its’ grip on me. It’s not my idol anymore. I am learning how to manage time with God’s help. Especially as the other topic I am learning about is death. “It is not death coming to get me, but God,” was an inspiring quote during one of the hardest times fighting leukemia. Now I am in the process of putting together something that I hope to be the theology of death in written form. What does the Bible teach us about death? What are the major blocks for building a solid theology of how are we to approach the fact, that each one of us has a final day here on Earth. God knows my last day. Is it today? Is it tomorrow? When is it? I don’t know, but the bigger question is this: is my death a tragic end to  my life or is it an end of chapter 1? Someone compared our life and eternity to 9 months of pregnancy and life after birth. I like that illustration. I was not aware of what I was getting into when being born, but it seems that  God gave us a few hints what to look forward to when we will be crossing into eternity. My overall impression is that by not knowing in detail what God revealed to us about death and eternity, I am leaving room for speculations, I am choosing confusion and by tolerating lies opening doors for chaos and fear, that in death I am loosing something, while the TRUTH is that to “die is gain”.

And with this hope..

… that our lives are just a chapter 1 of something much longer then 80 years, 

… that forgiveness for turning our back to God and reconciliation with Him is made possible thru the cross of Jesus,  

… that Jesus is the Truth, the Way, and the Light

… let’s start a church!!!!!!!! 

ps. here is the link, may you ever wonder when and where we worship on Sunday www.doslovapraha.cz

38 months!!

Mili pratele,

Dear friends,

jsem moc rad, ze s Vami muzu sdilet nekolik dobrych zprav. Povazuji to za obrovskou Bozi milost, ze mame tak bohaty a pestry zivot, ale i tato radost a vdecnost nejsou schopny prekryt moji bolest, kterou nesu spolu s jednim z mych pratel.

It is with great gratitude for God’s mercy that I write to you today. My heart is rejoicing for three reasons, that unfortunately cannot outweigh the pain I feel for a friend of mine.

V pondeli jsem byl na pravidelnem odberu krve a vysledky jsou ciste!!! Pristi tyden tak muzu slavit 38.mesic remise! Jsem velice vdecny za to, ze navsteva nemocnice je “pouze” 4x do roka. 

Pridejte se k nam a dekujme spolecne Bohu za moje zdravi.

On Monday, I had another blood test that came back clean. That makes me in remission for 38 months next week!!!!! I am very thankful that my trips to the hospital are “only” 4 times a year!! Please join my family and me as we are praising God for my recovery. 

Ta dalsi dobra zprava je ohledne naseho bydleni. Uz dva tydny bydlime v nasem domku!! Holky cely proces stehovani trochu urychlily. Za vysvedceni jsme ji slibili prespani, a hned po prvni noci nas presvedcili, abychom uz tady zustali. Zacali jsme tedy postupne privazet vic a vic veci. Je to uplne jiny pocit po 2 stehovanich v roce 2016 se “konecne” stehovat do sveho. Pomalu si tak zvykame na nove prostredi. Postupne jsou dokonceny ruzne interierove detaily jako treba dvere na zachod a do koupelny, nektere jsou stale v procesu jako satni skrine a ulozne prostory, a nektere nas cekaji az povoli mrazy a budeme moci dodelat vstupni lavku mezi chodnikem a domem. Nase “kempovani” trvalo nakonec 7 mesicu oproti planovanym 3, ale kdo to ted bude pocitat, kdyz uz jsme prestehovani!!!!!! Jsem moc vdecny Bohu za takovou moznost, nikdy jsem si nemyslel, ze budeme nekdy bydlet v domku se zahradou.. A navic ted uz muzeme znovu privitat navstevy, pochutnat si na domaci kuchyni a peceni od Jane, a uzit si spolecny cas! Takze pokud budete na Praze 6, nebo planujete cestu pres Prahu, dejte nam vedet a radi Vas uvidime!! Mezitim nez k nam dorazite, muzete se prosim spolu s nami primlouvat za moudrost jak nejlepe dokoncit rozdelanou praci a taky za papiry a dokumenty, kterych je porad neskutecne mnozstvi k vyrizeni. Moc dekujeme!

The second update is about our housing. For the last two weeks we have been in our house!! Our girls talked us into moving into barely finished house as they were excited after sleeping here for one night as a special treat at the end of school semester. From that one night we never fully went back into our rental apartment and instead started to bring more and more things into our home.  It is quite an adjustment after two temporary moves during 2016 to be unpacking knowing that we have arrived and this is our future home. Slowly we are settling in. We appreciate details that are already finished, (like doors to the bathroom), are in process of being finished (closets and storage spaces) and some that we still have to wait patiently for until the weather permits outside work again (connecting bridge from the street into the house).  

So our family “camping” took 7 months instead of 3, but who is counting now, when we are in house, right? Very thankful to God that this is even possible at all. I never dreamed that it would ever be an option. Now we can open the doors, have family and friends over, enjoy together Jane’s cooking and baking and have a good time together!!  So, may you find yourself in the neighborhood of Prague 6 or may your travel take you to Prague, please don’t hesitate to contact us and/or come on over!!!!!! In the meantime, can I ask you to pray for us as we settle in and there is still a lot of projects ahead of us that we would love to finish as well as paperwork that we need to deal with. 

V jedne z predeslych zprav jsem psal, ze v roce 2017 se nejenom prestehujeme, ale take se pripojime ke skupine lidi co pujdou zakladat novy sbor. Uz tretim rokem jsme soucasti mezinarodniho krestanskeho spolecenstvi Faith Community Church, a nekdy od leta by tento sbor vyslal skupinu cca 20 dospelych a deti do noveho mista. Spolecne se modlime a hledame misto i nazev pro tento sbor, kde bude zaznivat Bozi slovo anglicky i cesky. Radi bychom, aby v novem sboru nasli svuj prazsky duchovni  domov jak Cesi mluvici anglicky, tak cizinci, kteri ziji dlouhodobe v Praze, stari i mladi, proste vsichni ti, kteri jeste zadny sbor nemaji.. Jsme velice vdecni za tuto prilezitost, ze spolecneho vikendu pripravneho tymu jsme prijeli nadseni a tesime se na dalsi kroky, ktere jsou pred nami. Modlete se prosim s nami, abychom opravdu nasledovali Bozi vedeni. 

As I mentioned in my previous post,  in 2017 we will not only change our home address, but also be a part of a church plant. Growing out of Faith Community Church in Prague, which we have been part of for about three years now, a group of about 20 adults and kids is committed to follow God’s lead to a new location to present the Gospel to Czech/English speaking Czechs, expats and internationals. We came home from a weekend away with the launch team very encouraged and praying that God will open our eyes to things that we need to see to make good choices about the location and the name. We would love to have a name that somehow reflects who we are and what we are about, but it also needs to work in Czech and English.  The group is a great mix of Czechs, internationals, US expats, singles and families, old and young (I can say that, because I am the oldest at the moment..). We are very grateful to be part of this group and would you pray for us and with us that we literally go where God opens the doors. 

Tak a ted to co me trapi. Uz jsem psal o tom, ze otazka “Proc ja?“  me netrapila na zacatku me nemoci, ale trapi me ted behem uzdravovani. Nekolik z mych kamaradu uz nezije a jeden z tech kdo je pod tezkou palbou rakoviny, je muj kamarad Brian. Jeho diagnoza melonomy prisla cca 2 mesice potom co jsem si ja vyslechl tu svoji s leukemii. Od te doby Brian statecne valci, obcas se zda ze se mu podarilo vyhrat a nemoc se zastavila nebo dokonce malinko ustupuje, ale pak se zase objevi novy nalez a ten je vetsinou horsi nez co bylo predtim. Mohl bych Vas pozadat, pokud se pridate k nam a budete dekovat Bohu za me zdravi, muzete se take prosim primluvit u naseho nebeskeho Otce za Briana? Kdyby jste meli zajem o vic informaci, ktere chodi v emailove podobe, rad Vam predam kontakt.

Now the hard part. If you read my past blog posts, I struggle with the question “Why me?” as I am recovering and some of my friends have passed away. My friend Bryan, who was diagnosed with melanoma about two months after I heard the diagnosis of leukemia, has been fighting for five years with small victories in battles, but the war is still raging big time. May I ask that if you join me and my family in giving thanks to God for my health, you will pray for my friend Bryan, his wife Bethany and their two small children, Thad and Sage?

If you would be interested to be on their email updates with prayer requests, please let me know and I connect you. 

Nepovazuji to za samozrejmost, naopak za velikou nezaslouzenou milost, mit okolo sebe skupinu tak vytrvalych a vernych pratel. Radi bychom se modlili i my za Vas, poslete nam prosim jednu nebo dve veci jak se za Vas muzeme modlit. Jeste lepsi by byla navsteva a videt se nad salkem dobre kavy, ale budme realisti a vdecni za to co mame.. Dekujeme Vam vsem, ze nadale vytrvale jste temi, kteri prispivaji svoji pritomnosti v nasich zivotech k memu uzdraveni.

It is a privilege to have such a solid group of friends close and far to stand around me and my family. May you take a minute to let us know how can we be praying for you? It would be awesome to catch up over good cup of coffee but lets just be realistic and work with what we got..Thank you friends, your presence in our lives is part of my healing journey!

In Christ,

Martin

Thirty-five months and counting...

Kdyz stojite na vrcholu hory…

Once you get to the mountain top…

Mili pratele, 

Dear friends, 

v jedne z minulych zprav jsem pouzil ilustraci toho jak se moje udoli bolesti, tezkych zapasu o zivot, chemoterapii a tisicu prasku promenilo v nadherny vyhled jako bych stal na te nejvyssi hore a Buh mi dovolil videt cele Jeho kralovstvi. Byla to chvile kdy jsem si nemohl na nic hrat, nemel jsem cim se pred Bohem chlubit a nemohl jsem si ho nicim ziskat. Byl jsem srazen na kolena, ja jsem nemohl nic a presto jsem diky vire v Jezise mel vsechno co pro zivot potrebuji. 

In one of my previous posts, I used the illustration that the deepest, most painful experiences of the treatment were also moments when experiencing God was something so deep that it felt like reaching the mountain top with a beautiful view all around. I couldn’t perform, I couldn’t deliver, I had nothing to offer. I was defeated, but glad that I know that my faith in Jesus’ sacrifice satisfied what God’s righteousness required. 

Vite co vas ceka, kdyz stojite na vrcholu hory? Jedina cesta vede dolu. Moje remise trva uz 35 mesicu a uzivam si s vdecnosti naplno kazdy den co mi byl pridan. Stejne jako v Himalajich, ne kazdy kdo vystoupa na vrchol dojde dolu do bezpeci. Nadale prochazime zmenami, ktere ovlivnuji nas kazdodenni zivot, a to do te miry, ze nemam ten luxus ze by novy den byl stejny jako ten predchozi.

You know what happens when you reach the mountaintop? The only way left is down. 

I have been in remission for 35 months, and with thankfulness, I enjoy each extra day. Just like in the Himalayas, not all who reach the top of Everest return home safely. Our transition and life changes continue to challenge my daily routines, not having the luxury of having the same day twice. 

Jeden z tech prijemnych zazitku posledni doby bylo prokousavani se knihou od pastora Timothy Kellera s prostym nazvem Modlitba. Nejen ze  me drzela nad vodou, ale bylo to narocne cteni pri kterem jsem chtel co nejvice prijmout za sve nektere z tech pribehu, ktere zazili realni lide v realnem case sve doby. At uz to byli velikani krestanske viry v historii nebo “obycejni” lide soucasnosti. Osvedcene navody a osobni zkusenosti prispivali k tomu, abych touzil po jedinem - jeste vice prohloubit svuj vztah s zivym Bohem. Chci prozit zivot s Nim, a pro Nej. Vim, ze to co jsem v te knize chtel najit byl navrat na vrchol hory, odkud se znova rozhlednu. Ale to jsou momenty, ktere jsou velice vzacne. To v knize nejde predat. Ted je cas prozit “normalni” zbytek zivota.

On the uplifting side, I have enjoyed reading a book on Prayer by Timothy Keller. I took several months to go thru it, trying to absorb the wealth that the book contains regarding personal experiences, recommendations from historical giants of faith, offering guidance and exercises all pointing us to have a better communication with God. I desire to experience Him in a way that ALL I do is about Him and for Him. In a way, I was hoping to go back to the mountaintops. But those were rare moments. Now let's hope that its time to live thru the ordinary. 

Na jedne strane obrovska touha poznat Bozi lasku vic, na druhe strane me doslova szira otazka “Proc ja?” Byl jsem usetren zavaznosti teto otazky na zacatku me nemoci, a o to vic je neprijemne, jak me doslova pronasleduje ted. Behem poslednich let zemrelo par lidi, ktere jsem znal. Nektere vic, nektere min. Proc to oni nedali a ja ziju? Mam to v hlave, brzdi me to, mam obavy a zaroven se ucim vdecnosti. Buh si me jeste nevzal k sobe domu, tak proc me tu chce mit? 

Longing to experience God more deeply had its shadow in a question of “WHY ME?” This question was not something that came at the beginning of my disease, but it is disturbing my peace now. Over the few last years, I have become aware of the number of people who didn’t make it. Some of them were more distant; some were close. It stops me; it slows me down, it makes me thankful but fearful as well. Knowing that God didn’t call me home yet, makes me wonder what does He have in mind that I could be part of.

Nejsem typ co sedi a ceka. Jsem rad, kdyz jsem ja i veci okolo me v pohybu. Rad se chopim prilezitosti a jednam. Jednou z takovych prilezitosti, kde se ted veci opravdu hybou je projekt rekonstrukce stareho domku z 30. let. Cely proces jak jsme se o nem dozvedeli, porizeni, vyrizeni hypoteky, stavebni ohlasky atd. vnimame pri ohlednuti se zpet  jako  zazrak vedeny Bozi rukou. 

Naturally, I don’t sit and wait. I like to move. I like to seize opportunities. One of them is our project of renovating a house built in 1930  in a quiet corner of Prague that will be our next home. The whole process of finding it, purchasing it, mortgage negotiations, building permits, each step of the way there was something extraordinary that we look back at and shake our heads in disbelieve that it all happened. Our version is simple - God provided. 

V kvetnu se nam podarilo prodat nas byt a od te doby si pripadame ze kempujeme na ruznych mistech. Nejdrive jsme pres leto bydleli v garsonce ve vezaku, ktery mel 21 pater. Uzili jsme si to jako “dobrodruzstvi” v malem byte, za ktery jsme byli moc vdecni. A kdyz nastal cas uvolnit byt lidem, kteri uz meli byt zarezervovany po nas, otevrela se moznost prestehovat se do bytu kamarada, ktery se prestehoval do jineho mesta. S vdecnosti to bereme, ze nas Buh doslova vedl z bytu do bytu. Byt s tremi  pokoji byl po nekolika mesicich v garsonce uplne novy zazitek. Ted muzeme hrat znovu na schovavanou!!!! A taky musime po sobe zhasinat svetla. V garsonce bylo jedno svetlo - budto zapnuto nebo vypnuto. Ted jsme v byte, kde je tolik vypinacu ze se musime znovu naucit po sobe zhasinat. Co tim chci rict - ze i pres tu divocinu baleni a stehovani z mista na misto, kazdy den mame kde spat, mame pitnou vodu, mame teplou vodu na sprchovani a nadbytek jidla. A co byl nejvetsi zazitek z letnich prazdnin? Dovolena s rodinou Jane v USA! Tolik Bozich daru a to jsou jeste vanoce pred nami! Nic jsme neudelali proto, abychom meli takovyhle zivot v prebytku!! Diky, nas nebesky Otce!

We sold our old apartment back in May, and have been “camping” since then. First over the summer we were in a small studio apartment in a local sky scrapper. It was a great place for the summer, and we see it as one of those stories where we can only say one thing -  God provided. Right as there were scheduled tenants to move in, another friend offered us to stay at his place that he was going to leave empty because of moving elsewhere. One funny experience that we learned as we moved from studio to 3 bedroom apartment is that we had to re-learn switch off lights. In a one-room flat, there was one light. It was clear that it's either on or off. It took us a couple of days to get used to so many switches and so many rooms.  We could play hide and seek again! Bottom line - every day since May, we have had a place to sleep, drinking water, warm water to shower and plenty of food. Highlight of the summer - vacation with Jane’s family in the US!! These are all God’s blessings. There is not much that we did to deserve this kind of life. We are not lacking; we have enough, and for that we are thankful to our heavenly Father!!!!

Co se tyka samotne rekonstrukce domu, byl to pro me uplne neznamy svet kde lide mluvili jinou reci. Puvodni plan byl velice prosty a jednoduchy - nechat puvodni domek, zbourat puvodni pristavbu, postavit novou a o neco vetsi. Realita se od puvodniho planu ponekud lisi. 

Z puvodniho domku zbyly ctyri steny a k tomu jsme postavili novou pristavbu. Ted zacinaji dokoncuji prace a verime, ze se uz brzo budeme stehovat. (Neptejte se prosim kdy, terminu uz bylo nekolik, ze uz se neodvazuju nic odhadovat) 

As far as the construction goes, it is a whole new world (and language) that I have discovered. From a simple plan of building a small addition to an existing house, it became a project of building a small addition AND demolishing everything else except for four walls of the old house. We are entering the last phase of completing it and hope to move sometime soon. (Don’t ask about estimated time to move in, because we changed it so many times that I dare to pick another deadline. )

Aniz bychom to tak planovali, zda se ze kazdy rok remise s sebou prinasi nejakou velkou zmenu. Minuly rok jsme po 12 letech spolu s Jane odesli z Young Lifu, letos jsme prodali byt, ktery pro Jane, Sofii i Miu byl jejich prvnim domovem v Praze. Co nam zustalo? Nas sbor, nase cirkevni spolecenstvi. V zari pastori naseho sboru Faith Community Church oznamili novy plan na pristi skolni rok, ve kterem se cast sboru oddeli a pujde na nove misto nekde v Praze  zalozit novy sbor. Dali jsme si dost casu na premysleni a modlitby a vcera jsme se oficialne prihlasili do teamu lidi, kteri budou novy sbor zakladat. Plan je takovy, ze by tato nova skupina lidi se mohla zacit schazet uz na podzim 2017. 

With each year in remission, there is a new phase of a major life transition for our family. Last year  Jane and I  stepped down from a full-time ministry after 12 years, this year we sold and moved out from our apartment that was the first home for Jane, Sofia, and Mia in Prague. What’s left? Our church!  This fall the pastors of Faith Community Church officially introduced a plan of starting a new church plant in a different part of Prague. After a long process of considering and praying where God would lead us as a family, we committed to being part of the launch team yesterday. The plan as of right now is to have some sort of gathering in a new location by Fall 2017.  

Nejvice nas na celem planu nadchla vidina moznosti byt soucasti skupiny krestanu, kteri jsou budto Cesi zijici v mezinarodnim prostredi (firmy nebo treba manzelstvi (jako ja)) a/nebo cizinci zijici dlouhodobe v Praze (jako Jane). Oba s Jane se radujeme ze v tomto novem sboru bude dan vetsi prostor ceskemu jazyku a ceske kulture a tudiz i bude spolecne setkani vic otevreno pro ceske lidi. Ale zaroven to bude mit i “prichut” mezinarodniho prostredi kde si najdou sve i lide ze smisenych manzelstvich a rodin, studenti mezinarodnich skol, lide, kterym se libi prostredi globalnich trhu a svobody pracovat kdekoliv po svete.. A to jsou presne lide, se kterymi prirozene travime nas volny cas.

We are especially intrigued by the possibility to be part of a group of believers, who are either Czechs with some kind of international exposure or family  (like me)  and expats, who consider Prague their long term home (like Jane). For Jane and I, this future church represents a format where Czech language and cultural influence will dominate the “feel” of the church and thus make it more accessible to Czech speakers with less demand on their English. But at the same time acknowledging the multiculturalism in marriages, freedom to move and work anywhere in the world, options of international schooling, business involvement in global markets, etc. We don’t know many more details, but the vision of an international yet Czech church fits right with the group of people with whom we spend time.

Nove povolani, novy domov, novy sbor. To jsou velke ty velke veci. Ty obycejne, normalni, vsedni veci kazdodenniho zivota ted bezi celkem hladce. Asi pred mesicem jsem upravili nas rodinny kalendar a zvolnili jsme tempo rodinneho behu. Holky by nejradeji bezely z krouzku na krouzek - ve skole jich letos nabizeji celkem 23- a tak to nebylo jednoduche vybrat jen par aktivit. Vsechny jsou urcite dobre a prospesne, ale  neda se to stihnout. Mia bere prvni tridu velmi zodpovedne, bavi ji ucit se cist, psat a pocitat (vzorna po mamince) Sofia je ve 3. tride a uz objevuje kde se da co osulit nebo odflaknout aby bylo vic casu na sport (po tatinkovi, samozrejme) Rozvrh Jane se ve skole kde uci uz taky zabehl, ted k tomu jeste pribyly hodiny, kdy se sama vzdelava v ramci Mgr. studia.

New careers, new home, new church. Those are the big things. The ordinary life has a good rhythm at the moment. About a month ago we made some changes in our calendars to keep a good margin for life. The girls want to try everything possible that is accessible and believe me- to pick one or two after school activity out of 23 options is not an easy choice for 6 and 8-year-olds. All of them are great options, but we can’t run from activity to activity.  Mia is a very responsible 1st grader, who enjoys the process of learning new letters and math (taking after her mother). Sofia is becoming the “experienced” 3rd-grade student that is discovering what shortcuts she can take,  to have more time to play.(yes, she is taking after me). Jane is slowly settling into her new schedule of teaching English at the local middle school and studying for her Masters. 

Uzivame si cas, ktery mame dohromady jako rodina  a tak nejak “rosteme” spolu.

Minuly tyden nas holky ukecaly abychom sli s nima na horolezeckou stenu, aby nam mohli ukazat, co se vsechno za tech par tydnu treninku naucili. A my jsme se nestacili divit nejen jak dobre lezou, ale taky ze me Sofia jistila kdyz jsem si ja zkusil neco vylizt!!! (Pro ty co si spocitali rozdil vahy atd. male ujisteni, Sofie me jistila prichycena k podlaze)

Our family life is growing in all kinds of ways. Last week the girls begged us to go (indoor) climbing with them so they can show us what they learned in barely two months since they started regular trainings with a coach.   We couldn’t be more than happy to see the progress they made. Sofia even can belay me! (For those who question the weight ratio, yes, she was anchored to the floor of the gym. I am not going to risk my life in a gym after all I have been thru !:-)

Mame spoustu zazitku a zkusenosti, za ktere jsme vdecni. Tricet pet mesicu v remisi!!! Jsme vdecni, ze jste nadale soucasti naseho zivota a stale jste s nami v kontaktu. Jeste vic nez duveruji Sofii kdyz me jisti na lane, duveruji Bohu, ktery me ma rad a stara se o me. Jsem si vedom toho, ze si nic z toho co pisu, nemuzu narokovat. Je to Bozi milost, ze mam takovy zivot jaky mam - ted, v listopadu 2016.

Lots of things to be thankful. Thirty-five months in remission!! We are also thankful for you, our friends and family who are part of our lives and keep in touch with us!! As much as I trust that Sofia can belay me on the climbing wall, it is much bigger trust that I have in God, who loves me and keeps me. From all the things above, I don’t deserve any of it, but by God’s grace, it is my life in November 2016.

Martin

another new normal

Mili pratele,

Dear friends, 

dneska slavim 29. mesic v remisi a mam i oficialne potvrzeno, ze jsem skoncil dvoulety cyklus udrzovacich chemoterapii. S vdecnosti za pridane dny chvalim Boha doslova denne.

Today marks 29 months in my remission and it's official that I have finished the two year cycle of maintenance chemotherapies! Praising God and being grateful for added days continues to be part of my daily life!  

Jeste mi to uplne nedochazi - jsem hotovej, uz to mam za sebou, uz nebudou chemoterapie, uz nebudu muset brat prasky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jenom davat krev, kostni dren a chodit na kontroly!!!!!!!!

It has not yet fully sunk in  - I am done with the maintenance chemotherapy.!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more pills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Just blood tests, sternal punctures and check ups.!!!!!!!! 

Mozna uz muzeme rict, ze se neco v nasich zivotech meni. Ta myslenka “ Co kdyz..” je v hlave porad, ale verim, ze pribyvajici mesice remise ten hlas ztisi natolik, ze me nebude odvadet od tech novych veci. A nebo naopak zustane, aby me ochranil pred nebezpecnym pokusem vratit se zpatky do tempa zivota,  kde jsem byl pred nemoci. Moje zivotni tempo se musi zvolnit, ne nabrat obratek.

Our life is slowly making a turn. There is the ever present question of 'What if..??' that holds me back, but I do hope that with each month in remission, the voice of the question will be less distracting. Or maybe it is the reminder that is to protect me from hurting myself by going back to “what I was used to before.” My pace of life needs to maintain rather slower speed, not going faster.

Nevim odkud se vzala ta naivni predstava, ze se moje telo “samo” vrati do me puvodni fyzicke kondice. To je opravdu naivni! Nejen ze se tam nevratila, ale jeste navic jsem zestarl skoro o 5 let! Tak to je treba ted pro me nove. jak se dostat do kondice aniz bych delal stejne chyby jako driv? Nesnasim stretching, ktery je mi doporucovan ze vsech stran kdyz prijde na cviceni - je to jak kdyz je to sprosty slovo. Jsem hodne casto unaveny a prirozene se tak kontroluje co muzu a na co uz nemam. Nekdy to mozna vyzniva, ze jsem vybiravy do ceho budu investovat a do ceho ne, ale s tim co mam za sebou je muj vyssi cil se uzdravit, dolecit se co to pujde. A netrpi jen telo, moje pamet si se mnou taky zahrava..

Somehow naively I believed that my physical shape will return to where it was before.

it was really naive. It has not returned there and what is not helping that I am almost 5 years older.. So that is something that is new. How do I best build up my physical shape without making the mistakes I did before? (stretching is a swear word for me, I don’t know that there is something that I dislike more when comes to physical activities). My body gets tired easily which limits the amount of “busyness” semi-naturally. So at times I may sound picky to what I say yes or no to, because I need time to recover. And not just my body, my memory seems to be very selective..

V poslednich mesicich jsem mel nekolik prilezitosti stat pred ruznymi skupinami a sdilet s nimi cim jsem si prosel. Jeden z citatu, ktery me v posledni dobe oslovil zni takto: 

Being relevant is now valued much more highly than being rooted.” Volny preklad by znel asi takto - Mit co rict, zaujmout (publikum) je ted ocenovano daleko vice, nez stat na pevnych zakladech, (nez mit pevne koreny).  Ja myslim, ze to odpovida dnesnimu svetu. Okusil jsem hloubku tohoto vyroku na sobe, kdyz jsem se zucastnil jedne konference pro mladez, nejdrive jako posluchac a pak jako ten, kdo mel mluvit. Kdyz jsem se zaposlouchal do slov a svedectvi jednoho starsiho pastora (takova ta poctiva stara skola), byl jsem unesen pribehem o tom, jak si ho Buh pouziva v zivote lidi okolo nej. Mluvil jsem necely den po nem a vice nez petkrat jsem se odkazoval na to, co tento Bozi muz rekl nebo prozil. On byl pevne zakorenen, on stal na pevnych zakladech. On nepotreboval nekoho zaujmout, on si mohl dovolit mluvit o svych korenech. Na druhou stranu, kdyz jsem se pripravoval na to co reknu ja, moje touha byla o tom abych byl relevantni, abych mel co rict, abych zaujmul publikum.  Nakonec ale odchazim s otazkou, zda je mozne mit co rict aniz bych mel pevne koreny?

In the last few months I had the privilege of being invited to different places in and outside of Prague with different audiences about my experience of the past 4 years. 

One interesting quote I read goes like this: “Being relevant is valued higher than being rooted.'  I think it fits today’s world. I have experienced that two weeks ago, when I heard an older speaker share with the young people God’s story of his life and had to speak in the next 24 hours after him. He was from the old school, he was rooted. In my preparations I found myself trying to be relevant. In my talk I had referred to his talk and his wisdom more than half dozen of times, he was so good. So it made me wonder, can you be relevant without being rooted?

 

Pripominka toho jak Buh promenil me udoli smrti na vyhled do hloubky Jeho kralovstvi z vrcholu te nejvyssi hory mi pomaha jak na tele, tak na dusi. To, co bych si chtel stale nest s sebou i v te nove realite je prave ten vhled do Jeho kralovstvi, to srovnani mezi zivotem ted a tady a tim co bude na vecnosti, ten zazity dotyk Bozi lasky,

It is good for my head and my soul to be constantly reminded how the valley of death turned into a mountain top with a deeper view into God’s kingdom. It is with this memory of the view, the vivid experience of how this life compares with eternity and the personal touch of God’s love, that I am planning to enter the “new” phase of my life. 

Budeme se stehovat!!! - tak to je dalsi novinka. Doslova Bozim darem skrze pomoc profesionalu a rodiny se nam podarilo najit stary domek se zahradkou v tichem koutu Prahy. Jeho umisteni nas prinuti pravidelne chodit pesky na zastavku MHD. Bude to cas jit spolu a povidat a nebo jit sam a premyslet. Uz se nemuzeme dockat!!!  Rekonstrukce by mela byt hotova do konce srpna a tak vlastne zacneme novy skolni rok na novem miste. 

One huge difference is that our family is going to move. It is another gift of God (thru professional help and family) that we were able to purchase an old house with a back yard in a very quit corner of the city. The location will push us to do more walking in order to reach the public transportation, but we see that as a great part of our daily commute that will slow us down naturally. We will have to take into account the time to walk to catch the tram and as we walk we can talk or just process things.. The reconstruction of the house should be finished in August and we will start a new school year at a new address. 

Co se tyka meho pravidelneho programu, tak krome casu se Sofii a Miou, rekonstrukci domu, prodejem bytu jsem si jeste pridal male sousto a pomaham se ciderem. Dostal jsem duveru majitelu a snazim se pomoci s agendou, ktera byla tak trochu opomijena. Moje predstava byla zapojit se 1-2 dny v tydnu, tak uvidime jak to pujde. Jsem znova na zacatku, ten ne-pokoj, tempo businessu, porad nekdo na telefonu, odmitani veci  urgentnich, abych se mohl venovat tomu dulezitemu.. Jako manzel , jako tata, jako vedouci Young Lifu jako cokoliv co jsem delal tak jsem chtel byt u vseho co melo sebemensi vliv na nas zivot. Minuly tyden jsme s Jane stravili krasny vecer s nasimi prateli a naucil jsem se novou frazi - “Not my cirkus, not my monkey.” V cestine mi to vyzniva lip naopak “Nemuze to byt moje opice, kdyz to neni muj cirkus.” Krasne a jednoduse receno, a navic mi to pomaha vytribit mezi tim o co se mam zajimat a co muzu nechat plavat.

I try to make myself occupied with more than just being a stay at home dad for Sofia and Mia (love spending time with them!!!), renovating the house, selling our apartment. I am also spending more time at the cider business. The owners would love for me to be part of the company’s life in a bigger capacity so i am trying to make myself available for one or two days a week. The buzz of the business, the constant phone calls to be attended, the urgent issues that steal the focus off of the important - i am starting from square one. As a husband and a father, or as Young Life leader, and with all the other hats I was wearing I always wanted to be involved in as many things that were relevant to our lives. Last week Jane and I met with some of our friends for dinner and i learned a new phrase that i have to share with you - Not my circus, not my monkey. I love it! I applied it a few times and it truly helps me to be selective of which things to be concerned about. 

Ve vire jsme vykrocili do noveho zacatku. Jdeme zivotem a nevime co presne nas ceka. Spolehame se na Boha ve vire, ze jde pred nami a ze i nadale se o nas bude starat. Videli jsme, co se muze stat kdyz mu duverujeme - jenom nekdo kdo ma takovou pozici a moc nas muze prekvapit a ohromit. Kdyz se podivam na porusenost sveta okolo me, cokoliv co jenom trochu dava smysl, co dava nadeji, neco co do nas vdechuje zivot a vdecnost - to vse beru jako ochutnavku jake to bude na vecnosti v Jeho pritomnosti. A tak jak moc se tesim na ten “normalni” zivot, tak jeste vice me naplnuje touha delat veci, ktere budou mit presah do vecnosti s Nim. 

 So in faith a new beginning has slowly started.. We continue on the journey through life and still don’t know for sure where all of this leads. But we trust God that he goes before us and we depend on Him as our Provider. We have seen miracles that only someone of His position and power can surprise us with. In our daily brokeness, anything that resembles something somewhat hopeful, put together for a purpose, something that makes us alive and thankful - we take it as His way of showing us how eternity will be with Him. As much as I am excited about “normal” life, i am really passionate to make things count for eternity with Him.

Dekujeme za Vasi podporu, lasku a modlitby za celou nasi rodinu. Vase pritomnost v nasich zivotech je pozehnanim a to at bydlite ve stejnem dome nebo na druhe strane sveta. Jste soucasti me cesty k uzdraveni a za to Vam nescetnekrat dekuji. 

Thank you for your continuous support, love and prayers on our behalf. We are blessed by your presence in our lives whether you live in the same building or on the other side of the world. You are part of the healing process and we can’t thank you enough for that.  

V Kristu, 

In Christ,

Martin

Undivided heart :: 27 months

Mili pratele,

Dear friends,

diky Bozi milosti se jiz 27. mesic neobjevuji v me krvi stopy leukemie!!!! I presto jsem na posledni kontrolu u lekare sel jako studenti chodi na obavanou zkousku - s velkou nervozitou.

 by God’s grace I have entered 27th month of remission!!!!!!!!! It was with a great nervousness that I entered the doctor’s office to hear my latest results. 

Behem uplynulych ctyrech let bylo moje zivotni misto jasne. Jsem pacient, ktery zapasi s leukemii, ma chemoterapie, pak se mu nemoc vrati a uzdraveni se oddaluje.. Bude-li muj zivot zachovan, mel bych se naucit jak je lidske telo stvoreno, jak funguje  a co potrebuje k uzdraveni. Poznal jsem, ze uzdraveni se neda urychlit. Nejde to osidit ani jit zkratkou. Ucim se z vlastnich chyb - byl jsem naivni, kdyz jsem si myslel ze muzu pravidelnou denni hodinovou prochazku nahradit 6ti hodinovym vyslapem o vikendu.. 

Over the past four years my status in life was simply a leukemia patient. Either in chemotherapy, in relapse, or in remission.  If I am granted life, my part was to learn how my body was created, how it functions, what it needs to be healed. I learned that there are no shortcuts when comes to recovery. Among other things I have learned the difference of walking every day for 1 hour and a 6 hours long hike on Saturday to replace the daily exercise. I don’t think I will make that mistake again.

Uz jsem psal o tom, jak jsem okusil nejen uzdraveni tela, ale i uzdraveni duse - uzdraveni do meho zivota s Bohem. Psal jsem, jak Buh promenil ty nejhlubsi udoli na vrcholky hor, ze kterych byl neuveritelny pohled do reality Boziho kralovstvi.

As I have written in some of the previous posts, it was clear to me from the beginning that this would not just be about my body, but also about my soul - my spiritual life. I have written how God taught me that in retrospective the deepest valleys are actually the high peaks, where the view into God’s Kingdom is much more magnificent than from anywhere else I experienced so far.

Dnes bych rad napsal o zmene, kterou jsem vypozoroval v mem chovani. Zhruba od vanoc, kdy jsem prekrocil (pro doktory) dulezity meznik dvou let v remisi, neco zacalo byt jinak. A to i presto, ze nemam dokonceny cyklus udrzovacich chemoterapii. Muj zivot byl najednou naplnen vice moznostmi co muzu a kam muzu, a ty silne zazitky s Bohem najednou byly vytlaceny a neopakovaly se tak casto. Na jednu stranu mi chybi ta hloubka vztahu s Bohem na kterou jsem si behem nemoci zvykl, zvlaste ve chvilich kdy nebylo co bych mohl delat jineho nez lezet a koukat do stropu. Na druhou stranu se raduju, ze se mi pomalu navraci sila a muzu se poustet do veci, ktere jeste pred rokem nebyly myslitelne.

Today, I want to write about a change that I noticed. Since I have crossed the 2 year remission mark over last Christmas, something shifted in my mind. The shift happened despite the unfinished cycle of maintenance-chemos. Another chemo round, hopefully the last one is around the corner. Since Christmas, my life became busier and the deep moments with God became rare. On one hand I miss the depth of the relationship with God when I couldn’t do anything else, because I was sick  or just so tired that laying in bed and staring at the ceiling was all what I can do. At the same time, it is with great joy that I am experiencing a slow recovery, gaining strength and adding things to my life that a year ago I was not able to do. 

Behem tydne mam na starosti 4 -5 veci, kterymi travim cas. Ty hluboka udoli, resp. vyhled z  vrcholu hor se vicemene stavaji vzpominkou, asi tak jako to prozivaji horolezci, kteri prezili vystup i sestup treba z Everestu. Je to ve vzpomince, zbyly jen sramy na tele. Co by se muselo stat, abych nezapomnel nejen co me Buh naucil behem nemoci ale taky tu blizkost Jeho pritomnosti v mem zivote, kterou jsem mohl okusit? Jak muzu mit hluboky vztah s Nim a  zaroven si  pridavat vic veci do kazdodenniho zivota? In my daily life, there are 4 - 5 things that are my responsibilities and now give me something to do. More and more I remember the deep valleys in the way I imagine rock climbers remembering the time they survived their climbing of Mt. Everest. The standing on the peak is only in memory now, and the physical scars are the daily reminders. What must happen that I don’t lose track of what God taught me during the sickness and keep on adding things to my life?

Asi by to nebyl Buh, kdyby i pro takovou situaci nemel “chytre” reseni! Musim se tomu doslova smat, protoze Jeho reseni jak mi pripominat co mame za sebou a  zaroven me ucit jak se tesit na to co je prede mnou, je opravdu proste. Za posledni dobu prisly dalsi emaily a smsky s zadosti, jestli bych s tou ci onou skupinou lidi nemluvil o svem zapasu s leukemii a jak to ovlivnilo muj vztah s Bohem. Je to asi nejjednodussi zpusob, jak muzu projevit vdecnost tomu, kdo mi dal zivot, kdo dovolil, aby me nemoc prepadla nepripraveneho, kdo me provedl kouty sveho kralovstvi, ktere nejsou lehce pristupne a kdo mi dal sanci vratit se do zivota s jinymi cily nez jake jsem mel predtim!

 It brings smile to my face that God has once again came up with a “clever” solution to allow me process regularly what happened in the past and how it fits with where i am heading next. I have to smile every time there is an email or message with invitation to speak to a small or big group about my experience with God during the fight with leukemia. What a great way to remind me of Him who gave me life in the first place, who allowed for the disturbance to storm into my life, who gave me a great tour of the less visited chambers of His Kingdom and who gave me opportunity to return to life with a different vision. 

Vykon, zaneprazdnenost a obdiv okoli uz nejsou me priority. Nic z toho,  co me ted zamestnava jsem si nezaslouzil. Nemuzu nez souhlasit s tvrzenim meho kamarada, ktere si dal na svuj facebook - “Nemám nic co bych nedostal...takže se nemám čím chlubit” . Behem tech poslednich mesicu jsem mel pocit, ze me srdce je takove neklidne.  Ze ja jsem neklidny. Ze jsem nervozni. A pak jsem cetl tyto verse v Zalmu 86.(Bible 21)

Productivity, busyness and/or approval of others are no longer priorities. None of the current busyness is what I asked for. A friend of mine posted recently how he felt about life -  “I have been given everything”. I couldn’t agree more. 

For the last two months i couldn’t identify why my heart was so restless. Recently I found the answer in this  Psalm:

¹¹Svou cestu, Hospodine, ukaž mi,

abych se držel tvé věrnosti.

Mé srdce ať se soustředí,

abych tvé jméno ctil!

¹²Chválím tě, Pane Bože, celým srdcem svým,

tvé jméno chci slavit navěky!

¹³Vždyť ty mě miluješ láskou největší,

zachránil jsi mě z hloubky záhrobí!

Psalm 86:11-13

Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness;

give me an undivided heart,  

that I may fear your name.

I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; 

I will glorify your name forever.

For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths, 

from the realm of the dead.

Jestli je neco pro me velkym pokusenim, pak je to spolehat se na vlastni sily a schopnost veci rychle vyresit. Cim vic se citim zdravejsi, tim vic bych toho chtel stihnout. V mem srdci se znovu probouzi vasen pro soutezeni s tim, co je “normalni” a co se povazuje za “prospesne”. Bohuzel, ne vsechno co povazujeme za normalni a prospesne je opravdu normalni a prospesne. Ucim se nove rovnici. Cim jsem zdravejsi a silnejsi, tim klesa moje vdecnost vuci druhym a narusta moje ocekavani co by druzi meli delat. Najednou jsem zjistil, ze to bylo podobne i s mym zdravim. Uz nechci byt nemocny. Chtel jsem mit narok na to byt zdravy, proto ta vetsi  nervozita pri posledni navsteve doktora. Jako bych zapomnel, ze moje zdravi neni moje. Nemuzu si ho narokovat. 

It is my great temptation to depend on my strength and ability to take care of things.  The more I feel healthy the more I want to add things to my life.  And in my heart I start to compete with what is considered “healthy” and “normal”. And not all things considered healthy and normal are healthy and normal. When I feel healthy and strong, my level of appreciation of others decreases and my demands of others increases. I walked into the doctors office nervous, because I wanted to demand a clear bill of health, even though I have no right for such a claim.

Jsem vdecny Bohu za Jeho trpelive pripominani toho kdo je On a kdo chce abych byl ja.Jsem na ceste k uzdraveni, ale jeste jsem nedosel do cile. Jestlize uz ted zapomenu na to co jsem se naucil, pak to zustane jen tezkym obdobim v mem zivote. Nechci prijit o to, co je pro me cenne. Stejne jako  se horolezci chlubi fotkami z vrcholu hor, tak ja bych chtel svedcit o Bohu, ktery me “miluje laskou nejvetsi” a  vyrval me z moci smrti. Doslova. 

I am very thankful that God continues to remind me who is He and who He wants me to be. I am on a journey to recovery, but not finished (yet).  If I forget the lessons I learned, it was all hard, but good for nothing. I don’t want to lose what is so precious. Just like the climbers show pictures of standing on the peaks, I hope my life and my talks will glorify the God who delivered me from the depths and from the realm of the dead. Literally.

Mohl bych Vas pozadat o modlitby, abych se uprostred vsech tech rozptyleni vice celym srdcem soustredil na Boha? 

May I ask you to pray with me for “an undivided heart”? 

Dekuji Vam, mili pratele za vsechny ty zpusoby, kterymi me a nasi rodinu podporujete. A diky za Vase primluvne modlitby. 

Thank you my friends for the love you express to me and my family. And for the prayers on our behalf. 

Martin