Tuesday, May 24, 2016

another new normal

Mili pratele,
Dear friends, 

dneska slavim 29. mesic v remisi a mam i oficialne potvrzeno, ze jsem skoncil dvoulety cyklus udrzovacich chemoterapii. S vdecnosti za pridane dny chvalim Boha doslova denne.
Today marks 29 months in my remission and it's official that I have finished the two year cycle of maintenance chemotherapies! Praising God and being grateful for added days continues to be part of my daily life!  

Jeste mi to uplne nedochazi - jsem hotovej, uz to mam za sebou, uz nebudou chemoterapie, uz nebudu muset brat prasky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jenom davat krev, kostni dren a chodit na kontroly!!!!!!!!
It has not yet fully sunk in  - I am done with the maintenance chemotherapy.!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more pills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Just blood tests, sternal punctures and check ups.!!!!!!!! 

Mozna uz muzeme rict, ze se neco v nasich zivotech meni. Ta myslenka “ Co kdyz..” je v hlave porad, ale verim, ze pribyvajici mesice remise ten hlas ztisi natolik, ze me nebude odvadet od tech novych veci. A nebo naopak zustane, aby me ochranil pred nebezpecnym pokusem vratit se zpatky do tempa zivota,  kde jsem byl pred nemoci. Moje zivotni tempo se musi zvolnit, ne nabrat obratek.
Our life is slowly making a turn. There is the ever present question of 'What if..??' that holds me back, but I do hope that with each month in remission, the voice of the question will be less distracting. Or maybe it is the reminder that is to protect me from hurting myself by going back to “what I was used to before.” My pace of life needs to maintain rather slower speed, not going faster.

Nevim odkud se vzala ta naivni predstava, ze se moje telo “samo” vrati do me puvodni fyzicke kondice. To je opravdu naivni! Nejen ze se tam nevratila, ale jeste navic jsem zestarl skoro o 5 let! Tak to je treba ted pro me nove. jak se dostat do kondice aniz bych delal stejne chyby jako driv? Nesnasim stretching, ktery je mi doporucovan ze vsech stran kdyz prijde na cviceni - je to jak kdyz je to sprosty slovo. Jsem hodne casto unaveny a prirozene se tak kontroluje co muzu a na co uz nemam. Nekdy to mozna vyzniva, ze jsem vybiravy do ceho budu investovat a do ceho ne, ale s tim co mam za sebou je muj vyssi cil se uzdravit, dolecit se co to pujde. A netrpi jen telo, moje pamet si se mnou taky zahrava..
Somehow naively I believed that my physical shape will return to where it was before.
it was really naive. It has not returned there and what is not helping that I am almost 5 years older.. So that is something that is new. How do I best build up my physical shape without making the mistakes I did before? (stretching is a swear word for me, I don’t know that there is something that I dislike more when comes to physical activities). My body gets tired easily which limits the amount of “busyness” semi-naturally. So at times I may sound picky to what I say yes or no to, because I need time to recover. And not just my body, my memory seems to be very selective..

V poslednich mesicich jsem mel nekolik prilezitosti stat pred ruznymi skupinami a sdilet s nimi cim jsem si prosel. Jeden z citatu, ktery me v posledni dobe oslovil zni takto: 
Being relevant is now valued much more highly than being rooted.” Volny preklad by znel asi takto - Mit co rict, zaujmout (publikum) je ted ocenovano daleko vice, nez stat na pevnych zakladech, (nez mit pevne koreny).  Ja myslim, ze to odpovida dnesnimu svetu. Okusil jsem hloubku tohoto vyroku na sobe, kdyz jsem se zucastnil jedne konference pro mladez, nejdrive jako posluchac a pak jako ten, kdo mel mluvit. Kdyz jsem se zaposlouchal do slov a svedectvi jednoho starsiho pastora (takova ta poctiva stara skola), byl jsem unesen pribehem o tom, jak si ho Buh pouziva v zivote lidi okolo nej. Mluvil jsem necely den po nem a vice nez petkrat jsem se odkazoval na to, co tento Bozi muz rekl nebo prozil. On byl pevne zakorenen, on stal na pevnych zakladech. On nepotreboval nekoho zaujmout, on si mohl dovolit mluvit o svych korenech. Na druhou stranu, kdyz jsem se pripravoval na to co reknu ja, moje touha byla o tom abych byl relevantni, abych mel co rict, abych zaujmul publikum.  Nakonec ale odchazim s otazkou, zda je mozne mit co rict aniz bych mel pevne koreny?
In the last few months I had the privilege of being invited to different places in and outside of Prague with different audiences about my experience of the past 4 years. 
One interesting quote I read goes like this: “Being relevant is valued higher than being rooted.'  I think it fits today’s world. I have experienced that two weeks ago, when I heard an older speaker share with the young people God’s story of his life and had to speak in the next 24 hours after him. He was from the old school, he was rooted. In my preparations I found myself trying to be relevant. In my talk I had referred to his talk and his wisdom more than half dozen of times, he was so good. So it made me wonder, can you be relevant without being rooted?
Pripominka toho jak Buh promenil me udoli smrti na vyhled do hloubky Jeho kralovstvi z vrcholu te nejvyssi hory mi pomaha jak na tele, tak na dusi. To, co bych si chtel stale nest s sebou i v te nove realite je prave ten vhled do Jeho kralovstvi, to srovnani mezi zivotem ted a tady a tim co bude na vecnosti, ten zazity dotyk Bozi lasky,
It is good for my head and my soul to be constantly reminded how the valley of death turned into a mountain top with a deeper view into God’s kingdom. It is with this memory of the view, the vivid experience of how this life compares with eternity and the personal touch of God’s love, that I am planning to enter the “new” phase of my life. 

Budeme se stehovat!!! - tak to je dalsi novinka. Doslova Bozim darem skrze pomoc profesionalu a rodiny se nam podarilo najit stary domek se zahradkou v tichem koutu Prahy. Jeho umisteni nas prinuti pravidelne chodit pesky na zastavku MHD. Bude to cas jit spolu a povidat a nebo jit sam a premyslet. Uz se nemuzeme dockat!!!  Rekonstrukce by mela byt hotova do konce srpna a tak vlastne zacneme novy skolni rok na novem miste. 
One huge difference is that our family is going to move. It is another gift of God (thru professional help and family) that we were able to purchase an old house with a back yard in a very quit corner of the city. The location will push us to do more walking in order to reach the public transportation, but we see that as a great part of our daily commute that will slow us down naturally. We will have to take into account the time to walk to catch the tram and as we walk we can talk or just process things.. The reconstruction of the house should be finished in August and we will start a new school year at a new address. 

Co se tyka meho pravidelneho programu, tak krome casu se Sofii a Miou, rekonstrukci domu, prodejem bytu jsem si jeste pridal male sousto a pomaham se ciderem. Dostal jsem duveru majitelu a snazim se pomoci s agendou, ktera byla tak trochu opomijena. Moje predstava byla zapojit se 1-2 dny v tydnu, tak uvidime jak to pujde. Jsem znova na zacatku, ten ne-pokoj, tempo businessu, porad nekdo na telefonu, odmitani veci  urgentnich, abych se mohl venovat tomu dulezitemu.. Jako manzel , jako tata, jako vedouci Young Lifu jako cokoliv co jsem delal tak jsem chtel byt u vseho co melo sebemensi vliv na nas zivot. Minuly tyden jsme s Jane stravili krasny vecer s nasimi prateli a naucil jsem se novou frazi - “Not my cirkus, not my monkey.” V cestine mi to vyzniva lip naopak “Nemuze to byt moje opice, kdyz to neni muj cirkus.” Krasne a jednoduse receno, a navic mi to pomaha vytribit mezi tim o co se mam zajimat a co muzu nechat plavat.

I try to make myself occupied with more than just being a stay at home dad for Sofia and Mia (love spending time with them!!!), renovating the house, selling our apartment. I am also spending more time at the cider business. The owners would love for me to be part of the company’s life in a bigger capacity so i am trying to make myself available for one or two days a week. The buzz of the business, the constant phone calls to be attended, the urgent issues that steal the focus off of the important - i am starting from square one. As a husband and a father, or as Young Life leader, and with all the other hats I was wearing I always wanted to be involved in as many things that were relevant to our lives. Last week Jane and I met with some of our friends for dinner and i learned a new phrase that i have to share with you - Not my circus, not my monkey. I love it! I applied it a few times and it truly helps me to be selective of which things to be concerned about. 

Ve vire jsme vykrocili do noveho zacatku. Jdeme zivotem a nevime co presne nas ceka. Spolehame se na Boha ve vire, ze jde pred nami a ze i nadale se o nas bude starat. Videli jsme, co se muze stat kdyz mu duverujeme - jenom nekdo kdo ma takovou pozici a moc nas muze prekvapit a ohromit. Kdyz se podivam na porusenost sveta okolo me, cokoliv co jenom trochu dava smysl, co dava nadeji, neco co do nas vdechuje zivot a vdecnost - to vse beru jako ochutnavku jake to bude na vecnosti v Jeho pritomnosti. A tak jak moc se tesim na ten “normalni” zivot, tak jeste vice me naplnuje touha delat veci, ktere budou mit presah do vecnosti s Nim. 
 So in faith a new beginning has slowly started.. We continue on the journey through life and still don’t know for sure where all of this leads. But we trust God that he goes before us and we depend on Him as our Provider. We have seen miracles that only someone of His position and power can surprise us with. In our daily brokeness, anything that resembles something somewhat hopeful, put together for a purpose, something that makes us alive and thankful - we take it as His way of showing us how eternity will be with Him. As much as I am excited about “normal” life, i am really passionate to make things count for eternity with Him.

Dekujeme za Vasi podporu, lasku a modlitby za celou nasi rodinu. Vase pritomnost v nasich zivotech je pozehnanim a to at bydlite ve stejnem dome nebo na druhe strane sveta. Jste soucasti me cesty k uzdraveni a za to Vam nescetnekrat dekuji. 
Thank you for your continuous support, love and prayers on our behalf. We are blessed by your presence in our lives whether you live in the same building or on the other side of the world. You are part of the healing process and we can’t thank you enough for that.  

V Kristu, 
In Christ,