Friday, November 9, 2012

A relapse.

I was trying to think of a clever way to start this blog post, but can't. We have had a nice, quiet, long summer of 'no new is good news', when it comes to Martin's health. I have have wanted to start posting again, but haven't quite known how.

We have been living in the tension of sickness and health- with mostly good days for Martin. But having to remember that even though he was feeling better, we are still on a long marathon journey...feeling the tension between enjoying the moment and remembering the reality. Maybe later I will share more about this.

Yesterday, he was feeling OK. Life was in full motion for our family.
But tonight, it has stopped. I'm sad to say that that I don't have to 'remember' that Martin is sick. I just have to turn the corner and see. He is so sick.

The doctor called yesterday and said that he had some bad results to his regular blood work. He's had a relapse. Today he's started another intense circle of really strong chemotherapy. He is able to be an outpatient, but has to go in every morning for at least two weeks for and IV of glorified rat poisoning. Literally, that is what it is. There should be a Mr. Yuck sticker on the stuff they are putting in him.

Today after his first injection, we took a nice long walk together from Karlovo Namesti to Mala Strana to meet my parents for lunch. He still seemed well and I was hopeful. This isn't so bad. Within a few hours, we returned home and I am brought right back to a very familiar place. Overwhelmed. Scared. Trying to care for Martin who is so very sick tonight. Trying to remember our walk across the bridge today. Trying to remember what I was reminded of yesterday by two special friends, that the Lord says,  'I will help you,' 'I will defend you,' 'I will never leave you,' I want to be close to you,' 'I am the Lord.' That He will be and do those things for Martin. Tonight.

Please, if you pray, please pray for Martin and for these next two or three weeks. So many of our past updates (not on this blog, but in person) have been so positive, and so much more fun to share, that I really hesitate to post this. But I know it's important. It is such a gift to be connected to you all.

(I hope to get this translated soon!)


  1. thank you for sharing, jane. absolutely praying. love you loads!

  2. Still praying with you. Thanks for the update.